The feeling of realizing that I was in love was like getting hit by thirty bludgers, all at once. I couldn't move, just felt it hit me like a sack of bricks, and felt the sudden dread fill the places left behind.
But the words will stay stuck in my mouth as I struggle to speak of this feeling, my heart will thud against my ribs and stop me from breathing.
And now, I sit here in from of the fireplace, thinking about what could have been and if only...if only I had said something.
Hilariously enough, the feeling of watching someone die isn’t all that different from the feeling you feel when you fall in love. You feel tiny bits of you fall apart as you hold back your tears, because you don’t know how to say the words that just won’t form in your brain. As you watch the sickness take over and leave behind flakes in their wake, as you watch the body count rise and the muscles and bones disappear, you feel an overwhelming sense of regret.
Regret, because you could have saved them.
But how. You’re not a doctor, a nurse.
Yes, I may not be a doctor or a nurse. I may be young and not be wise.
But I understand what it feels like to love, I understand what it feels like to feel, what it feels like to see the world around you fall apart under the hand of a structure that is too old to hold its own weight.
Maybe I don’t have your experience, maybe I’m hot headed and over-opinionated. But like the people of my generation, I will claim that as my own, when I have nothing else to own. I will claim this country as my own, while others throw it away or use it for their own benefit.
I may not know what its like to be old.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t know how to live.
And that definitely doesn’t mean that I can be blinded by your pretty words and your silver tongue. I don’t want your words- for me they are but noises. Show me results. Show me that highly regarded responsibility you hold so dear.
Because we will not stand around to just watch our country die.
Note: Every year, India loses its future and current citizens to various issues like farmer suicide and female infanticide. On top of that are a millennia's worth of social issues that have yet to be resolved in order to retain any semblance of human rights in the country. I hope that tomorrow, the youth of India will take responsibility of the country and change it into a country that is inclusive and human rights oriented.
